Dish Towel - age doesn't matter unless you are cheese or wine
Dish Towel - all you need is love & a cat
Dish Towel - all you need is love & a dog
Dish Towel - an apple a day keeps anyone away if you can throw it hard enough
Dish Towel - auto correct makes me say things I didn't Nintendo
Dish Towel - chocolate comes from cocoa which is a plant therefore chocolate counts as a salad
Dish Towel - does running late count as exercise?
Dish Towel - don't cook bacon naked
Dish Towel - don't worry dishes, nobody's doing me either
Dish Towel - easily manipulated by grandkids
Dish Towel - everything happens for a riesling
Dish Towel - get your fat pants ready
Dish Towel - go jump in the lake
Dish Towel - hey i found your nose, in was in my business again
Dish Towel - homemade with love, in other words, I licked the spoon & kept using it
Dish Towel - I believe in chocolate for breakfast
Dish Towel - I have a feeling my "check liver" light might come on soon
Dish Towel - I just rescued some wine, it was trapped in a bottle
Dish Towel - I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the pringles holder on the treadmill
Dish Towel - I make wine disappear. What is your superpower?
Dish Towel - I only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do
Dish Towel - I play golf everyday that ends in "y"
Dish Towel - I run like the winded
Dish Towel - I stay hydrated by adding ice to my wine
Dish Towel - I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved
Dish Towel - I want to grow my own food but I can't find any bacon seeds
Dish Towel - I was born to be wild, but only until 9 pm or so
Dish Towel - if I were bird, I know who I'd shit on
Dish Towel - if we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
Dish Towel - if you don't like my cooking, have another glass of wine
Dish Towel - I'll have a vodka Zanax on the rocks
Dish Towel - I'm gonna guac your world
Dish Towel - I'm not old, I'm vintage
Dish Towel - I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Dish Towel - I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios
Dish Towel - I'm thankful for friends & family & that I saw which part of the turkey the dog licked
Dish Towel - I'm thankful for you and wine
Dish Towel - keep this kitchen clean, eat out
Dish Towel - kiss the cook
Dish Towel - let's eat dad, let's eat, dad punctuation saves lives
Dish Towel - let's eat mom, let's eat, mom punctuation saves lives
Dish Towel - life is too short to cook for you people
Dish Towel - life is what happen between coffee & wine
Dish Towel - listen to your mother
Dish Towel - lost 4 balls, found 3, I'm 1 under
Dish Towel - may your troubles be less and your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door
Dish Towel - may your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.
Dish Towel - move over coffee, this is a job for alcohol
Dish Towel - my book club only reads wine labels
Dish Towel - my cooking is so awesome even the smoke alarm cheers me on
Dish Towel - my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations
Dish Towel - no man was ever shot while doing dishes
Dish Towel - paper towels are jealous
Dish Towel - there's no such thing as too much butter
Dish Towel - today I ate a cupcake without sprinkles, diets are hard
Dish Towel - today I will be as useless as the g in lasagna
Dish Towel - welcome to the shit show
Dish Towel - when I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children, just like the bottle says
Dish Towel - Wine, because it's not good to keep things bottled up
Dish Towel - you are the bacon to my eggs
Dish Towel - you call them swear words, I call them sentence enhancers
Dish Towel - your opinion is not a part of the recipe
